Dynamics of sexuality

An acquaintance (John for the sake of confidentiality) was in Northern Thailand, teaching a train-the-trainer course on understanding sexuality to a mixed group of men and women of varying ages, from the early 20s to late 50s. They came from community-based organisations and the course was part of a program of capacity building and skill development in developing programs to respond to HIV in their communities. There were two middle-aged Catholic nuns, a group of young trainers from a Muslim youth program, four or five government health officials, and personnel from the NGO agency sponsoring the lecture. John had no Thai language (the sole official language of Thailand is Central Thai, a Kra-Dai language) and hence taught in English with a very competent Thai female translator – a mature woman who had been a University professor. He had been discussing behaviour change in the context of HIV and sexually transmitted infection (STI) prevention, condom use and the importance of knowing how to access and use them, and the situations and places where sexual activity occurs.

During the break, a young woman came up and questioned him on what he had been saying. She said that she had a client who was a Buddhist monk who said he caught an STI off the seat of a bus. John told her that STIs could not be picked up from bus seats. She then said she was told by a reputable international organisation that it was possible. John opened the next session with a review of the facts about STIs and that transmission required sexual activity to have occurred. The immediate argument from the participants that because monks were prohibited from having sex; the monk in question could only have caught the infection from a bus seat; where someone with the infection must have been sitting! And there was general nodding of agreement with this proposition. John then proffered the suggestion that the monk perhaps had had sex with someone, despite the prohibition.

There was a deafening silence, and the nuns looked shocked! After a few minutes of feet shuffling and a general air of disquiet, a young woman stood up and in perfect English said that she thought that John was probably right in his assertion because she knew of monks who had sex with other monks and that sometimes girls would prostitute themselves at temples. The silence then continued and then slowly around the room as that statement took hold there were murmurs and nods and finally, an agreement that this might well be the case. This incident initiated a long discussion on sexual behaviour including men loving men, women loving women and the various sexual behaviours they enjoyed.

This story illustrates the dynamics of sexuality and how sexual behaviour is scripted within cultural contexts albeit sometimes transgressing cultural norms. It also highlights the behaviours that people engage in for sexual satisfaction, relationship formation and sustainment, and for recreation. In John’s teaching session on that occasion, the discussion had become very candid about what such behaviours might be such as oral sex, vaginal sex and anal sex. Although at the time he was focussing on reducing the risks of HIV being picked up and passed on – it became obvious to John that there were other needs being met at an emotional level. Sex was more than behaviours. A search of the internet revealed on Wiki.answers (2018) that about 17.5 million songs have been written about love – each one telling a story of a fundamental human emotion:

Passionate love and sexual desire are cultural universals. Culture may affect people’s definitions of passion, their attitudes toward sex, how free they feel to able to engage in sexual activities, and what they consider to be the consequences of such activity—but in all cultures, in all eras, people feel the same stirrings of desire. Tang, N., Bensman, L., & Hatfield, E. (2012). The impact of culture and gender on sexual motives: Differences between Chinese and North Americans. International Journal of Intercultural Relations, 36(2), 286-294.